READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize