i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
