One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i barfeds in our rink
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Text me some of your sweat
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
