We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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