i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
