she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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