so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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