I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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