It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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