I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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