drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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