she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
