I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She bit a glass in half.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
