hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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