So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
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