dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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