I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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