I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
