Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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