just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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