he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I wish you could order shots online.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
