I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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