I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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