we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
