stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
