Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
either way he was missing a nipple.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
