and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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