i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
