i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
