You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
