Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
