It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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