Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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