So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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