Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
