I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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