I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
