We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
