i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
