So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
