he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
