I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
