Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
