You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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