i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize
