At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
