Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
