Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
