I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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