He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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