P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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