Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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