her vagine was all disorganized.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize