Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
