what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
